Two Can Keep a Secret - Chapter 1
by Saerlaith Cainnech
Summary: Blair Anderson always knew she wasn't like the other girls.


Blaine groaned in frustration, flipping through his closet. Dresses, dresses, dresses! Nothing but dresses and skirts. He finally tore into a trashbag full of old clothes that were going to goodwill and pulled out a pair of jeans that his mother had thrown away because they were "too ragged". He thought they were just perfect.

He slid the jeans on, sighing a little. They were a little tight, but the fit was enough for now. Then he snuck into Cooper's room, grabbing the smallest tee shirt he could find and sliding it on. It would do. Blair tied his hair into a ponytail, then slid on sneakers and walked downstairs. He felt so much better now. Usually, when he had to dress like a girl, he felt like a child playing dress up in his mother's clothes.

"Hey, baby girl," Cooper said, and Blaine internally groaned. "You look…grungy as hell," his brother said. Blaine hated it when Cooper used female pronouns. But, as he looked down and saw the girl's breasts, legs, dainty arms, he realized that it was only in his own head that he could be what he wanted to be, for as long as he could remember: a boy.

"I told you, Coop, I hate that nickname," he grumbled, sinking into a chair. Blaine threw his feet up in the chair, turning the television on to the NFL Network.

"Well, it's cute," Cooper said, looking up in confusion from his paper. "When did you start watching sports?" His sister hadn't watched them before, at least he hadn't seen her. Come to think of it, Blair had been acting strange the past few months. A little reserved, grumpy, she didn't talk very much anymore. Cooper had tried to talk it over with her, but she wouldn't budge.

"It's annoying," Blaine retorted. "And I've always liked football, Cooper. I just haven't watched it because-never mind," he said, a little defeated. If only Blaine had the courage to tell Cooper that he didn't feel right anymore. He used to just write it off, but now that he was turning 18, he couldn't just push the feelings aside. Feelings that he didn't belong anywhere. If he went into the boys bathroom, he got yelled at and made fun of. If he went to the girl's bathroom, he felt like he was being perverted, like a peeping tom, even though he didn't even like girls. There was so much confusion in his head, and sometimes it just…hurt. It hurt to be an outcast where he felt like he belonged, and it hurt to feel like an outcast in a place where he knew he was supposed to belong.

"Cooper…" he sighed, swallowing and muting the television. "I…I need to talk to you about something." This was it. He felt the pit of his stomach sink down further, nerves bubbling up inside.

Cooper put his paper down, giving his sister his full attention. "Just warning you, if this is a feminine problem, go to Mom." At the eye roll he received from her, he nodded. "Okay, shoot."

"I…" he swallowed, almost backing out. "I…"

"Spit it out, squirt."

"I think I'm a boy!"

The air stilled, and one could swear they heard a fly breathing on the wall. Cooper just stared, eyes widening. Then he did something Blaine hadn't expected. He laughed. Cooper just burst out laughing, doubling over. "Oh my god, that's a good one!" He said, tears in his eyes. Blaine just stared at him, then his lip quivered and he started sobbing, curling up in the chair and crying into his knees.

Cooper stopped laughing, walking over and kneeling down. "Hey…hey, sweetie, stop that…"

"You…you don't understand!" Blaine yelled, pushing Cooper back and getting up. "You never will!" He ran up to his room, slamming the door. Cooper just stared after him, confused as hell. Why was his sister crying about being a boy?

He went upstairs, knocking on her door gently. "Blair?" He walked in, seeing her crumped on her bed, sobbing heavily into her pillow. "Blair, sweetie, I'm sorry I laughed. It just took me by surprise, that's all. C'mon, talk to me…"

Blaine sat up a little, searching Cooper's face for any hint of insincerity, and when found only genuine concern, he turned and curled into Cooper's lap, facing the closet door. "I feel….bad, Cooper. I feel wrong. I don't like dresses or makeup or heels…I like comfortable jeans, sweaters, ties. I hate my body. I don't feel like me in it. I just feel wrong."

It hurt Cooper deeply to hear her say that she hated her body. "I don't understand, squirt. Why don't you like it?"

"Because I meant what I said. I feel like a boy inside, Cooper. I feel wrong with boobs and small arms and shaved legs. I feel wrong with long hair. I'm a boy inside, but a girl on the outside. I just want to match," he finally said pitifully, curling up and shivering a little. "I just want to match."

Cooper thought for a minute, swallowing. "What can I do to help," he finally asked. As Blaine looked up in surprise, he shrugged. "I don't fully understand what you're talking about, but I want nothing but your happiness and comfort in life. And if this is making you unhappy, what can I do to help you."

Blaine swallowed, looking up. "You could call me Blaine," he offered, biting his lip. It was a name he'd made up for himself when he was 12, and ever since then he'd called himself a boy, and used Blaine. He had to write Blair on paper, but when he was alone, he was always Blaine.

"Blaine," Cooper said, letting the name roll off his tongue. "I like it. Okay….Blaine." It still felt weird, since he'd grown up with a little sister, not brother, but it was worth it to see a small light come back into his si-brother's eyes again.


End file.
